I thought I would get the sleeping blog out the way early. Discussing sleep with the very people who aren’t getting any seems a little foolish but hey let’s give it a shot.
During my pregnancy public focus on mums to be seemed to centre around one thing, well two things to be precise – Boobs! Breastfeeding was back on the agenda with a vengeance. Now I happen to completely agree and feel that where possible breastfeeding should be attempted, however that’s a discussion for another day. Once my little one came along and I had successfully satisfied the breastfeeding police that I was following all orders a new obsession took over - sleep!
Suddenly complete strangers were no longer interested in my bosoms, they wanted to know the intimate details of nighttimes in the Robinson house. ‘Is she sleeping?’ ‘Going through the night yet?’ and my favourite ‘Is she good?’ What on earth good has to do with sleep is beyond me but I quickly came to realise that I had to work out how I would bat off the barrage of questions and disbelieving silences when I explained to those who felt it their duty to enquire – that my daughter slept fine thank you – like a baby in fact!
Very early on we decided we would allow Daisy to guide us in terms of when she felt ready for certain changes in her life, She slept a lot on me and Mr R and for us this was absolutely fine, we were all (not least Daisy) dealing with a massive change in our lives and we needed all the love and comfort we could get.
Sleep training wasn’t for us, we wouldn’t be letting Daisy cry it out and our goal would be to offer her love, support and closeness until she started to feel ready to sleep by herself. This time with Daisy was so short and so precious it felt crazy to want to rush her into independence. As a mummy I feel my job is to keep my baby safe and hold her when she needs a little shield from the world, leaving her to cry alone defies that role and compromises the trust she has in me. After all no messed up 16 year old ever stood in front of their psychiatrist and complained their mum loved them too much.
We were all in the same room for well over the 6 month mark so we could easily attend to Daisy in the night and like many parents this was about the time I developed the first of my mummy superpowers and could be at the side of Daisy’s cot within a mili second of a change in breath, a teeny cough or one of those little truffle pig snorts I remember fondly from the early days.
Fast tracking through 18 months of patting, singing and story times we still attend to Daisy at night when she needs us, I’ve encountered lots of differing views to babies sleep over this time and have generally chosen to keep my opinions to myself, parenting can be strangely competitive and often parental agendas are very different. For me it’s about what is right for you, your baby and your family. We are crazy obsessed with babies sleep, sleeping through the night and getting babies into their own rooms as early as possible and at times that makes me quite sad. It’s simple she needs to be close because I’m her mum and being close to her mum makes her feel safe and happy.
I love the night time cuddles and despite the lack of sleep I know it will be me missing the snuggles as Daisy grows up and needs less and less mummy time. Cue Broodiness!
I find it exhausting even thinking about the pressure to somehow get L to sleep through the night. Not sure exactly where the pressure is coming from? Mostly from myself I think... I like your approach!ReplyDelete
Thanks Beth, Daisy settles really well now which I hope is partly down to just trying to make bedtimes as stress free as possible, but it certainly doesn't mean we get 12 hour nights every night. L will work it out for himself I'm sure, especially if he knows he's safe and snug in bed.Delete
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