Cycling through to work this morning I heard a familiar nagging voice, the very same voice I hear every day and the same voice that makes me move to the side of the road get off my bike and walk the final 5 minutes to the office, avoiding the horrendous 5 lanes of merging traffic that is Aldwych at 8am.
The voice that reminds me there’s now a small person in my life and she could do with me sticking around.
As a parent you can feel so powerful and yet so vulnerable almost all at the same time. It is mind blowing to know that nobody in the world is more suited to my job than I am. I’m responsible for shaping a little human life, introducing her to the world, protecting her.
But equally I often feel massively vulnerable, scarily aware of my own mortality and if I’m honest a bit overwhelmed.
Nothing makes you more aware of yourself than when you have someone else to consider. As a mum I get to be everything, the finder of missing toys, the giver of cuddles, the mixer of cakes and cleaner of grubby hands but I also get to be the little life boat making sure nobody’s sinking.
The thought of having to be all those things all at once can sometimes make me want to run for the hills but as I trundle along on my little fold up bike dodging the towering red buses and the speedy courier boys, I realise it’s being all those things that keep me safe and push me to make the right decisions.
“So young lady, I’ll keep you safe if you keep me safe, deal?” lovelovelove