Remembering back to the day we arrived home from hospital with our perfect little human, she was so innocent, full of promise, I truly had no idea that in little over 2 years my life would feel a lot like I was sharing my home with a tiny, slightly feral being, reminiscent of a drunk. Fast forward 30 months and here she is - irrational, illogical, bonkers but with enough love and kisses to drown a mummy. It would appear I really do own my very own drunk, albeit a very small one!
Not convinced? Allow me to explain....
She stumbles around the house, bumping into everything randomly dropping or throwing things she's finished with
She has sporadic emotional outbursts and can be crying her heart out one minute then laughing hysterically at her feet another
She can't eat without smearing food all over her face and clothes
She has no social graces and will Quite happily will ask entirely inappropriate questions very loudly about strangers - 'why that man got funny hat on'
She has no sense of embarrassment, shame or indeed remorse and can never remember anything she did 5 minutes ago
She talks gibberish at best, moans and cries over the craziest things at worst!
She literally takes every opportunity to take her clothes off. I had no idea I would have to state on so many occasions that we must wear underwear when we leave the house!
She has no sense of personal space at all.
She has no volume control
It's completely normal for her to be chatting away one minute and passed out the next!