Dear Two Year Molars, Would You Please Bugger Off!

Dear Two Year Molars,

I’m going to try and be polite about this as I’m not a violent person but seriously enough is enough!

If you had a nose I swear I would punch it, if you had shins I’m afraid I would take great pleasure in kicking them because quite frankly you’re starting to take the piss. You’ve been hanging around for weeks now and nothing, not a peep of your pearly whites and yet you persist in lurking about causing bother, seeking attention and generally making everyone unhappy.

Now I know you’re going to be very useful, we’ll all be glad when you finally make your appearance and blah blah blah, but do you really need to make such a song and dance about it? Your pals managed to pop along without much more than a dodgy nappy or two and few rosy cheeks (well there was also the river of dribbly goop, but my point remains) – you seem intent on causing the biggest fuss of all. It’s as if you genuinely believe you’re some kind of teething finale and you want to ensure nobody forgets you. Well congratulations Mr Molar you’ve succeeded, I won't forget a night like last night in a hurry!

The thing is I need sleep, Daisy needs sleep and yes you need to do your thing, but can’t we work something out? 3am for example is not a good time to make your presence known, mid way through a nap – not a good time, half way up the M1 – not a good time. For the sake of everyone’s sanity if you can try to be a bit more considerate I will ensure you’re looked after for as long as you choose to stick around. I will take a hit like any good mum and get rid of all the sweet things in the house and brush you twice a day. Deal.

Kind Regards,

Daisy’s mum